‘Jokes’
A guy finally got tickets to the Super Bowl, but his seats were in the nosebleed section — but he didn’t care, he had always dreamed of going to the Super Bowl. So he wants to find a seat closer to where he can see better. He finds this seat toward the front and he asks the guy next to it whether anyone is sitting there.
The guy replies, “No, because my wife just died.”
“Well,” says the first man, “why didn’t you just bring a friend or relative?”
The guy replied, “Oh, they’re all at the funeral.”
A man went into the forest to talk to God:
Man: “God, tell me, what is a million years to you?”
God: “A million years is like a second to me.”
Man: “Ok then tell me God, what is a million dollars to you?”
God: A million dollars to me is like a penny.”
Man: “So God… can I have a million dollars?”
God: “In a second.”