‘Jokes’
Jim was 26 over par by the eighth hole, had landed a fleet of golf balls in the water hazard, and dug himself into a trench fighting his way out of the rough, when his caddy coughed during a 12-inch putt. Jim exploded.
“You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world!” he screamed.
“I doubt it,” replied the caddy. “That would be too much of a coincidence.”
A young man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, Just for fun, “Ma, I’m going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.” The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.
He then says: “Okay, Ma, guess which one I’m going to marry.”
She immediately replies: “The one on the right.”
”That’s amazing, Ma. You’re right. How did you know?”
The mother replies,” I didn’t like her!”
“My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre and that I am therefore excused from saving universes.”
– Douglas Adams
I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. Read the rest of this entry »
“When I get a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like the bottle says.”
“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”
Isaac Asimov
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. Read the rest of this entry »